Sunday, June 24, 2007

Crime League Update for 6/24/07

You've been asking for it; here it is: the complete and up-to-date roster of the Crime League!

Dr. Stratos: brilliant meteorologist and atmosphere engineer turned supervillain who can command the weather itself. He is the leader of the Crime League, though word has it a certain big ape thinks he's running the show.

Dr. Simian: The aforementioned hyper-intelligent ape driven mad by science and hell-bent on the conquering Earth.

Blackstar: fallen member of the interstellar protectors known as Star Knights who took refuge on planet Earth after his attempts at galactic domination elsewhere failed. Way to go Star Knights! Dump your garbage here, then never bother to come and clean it up (oh yeah, sure, you send ONE Star Knight to do the job ... guess he wasn't quite up to it 'cause last I checked, Blackstar is still running around.

Devil Ray: If you need something stolen from underwater, Devil Ray is your man. Hey, it could happen. He's an aquatic power-suited villain and 'master thief' whose MANTA armor gives him super human strength, the ability to maneuver and breathe underwater, allows him to generate stunning bursts of electricity and guarantees him to be the lamest villain this side of the Zero Zone.

Hiroshima Shadow: Born in the atomic blast at Hiroshima, the Hiroshima Shadow is a sentient radioactive inferno determined to get revenge against the America for winning the war. He also apparently hates Japanese people because, umm, they're not hell-bent on world domination any more.

The Maestro: Brilliant conductor, sucky composer. But don't tell him that, or he'll use his mathematical command of music to make you like his stuff. His musical instruments can blast buildings with sonic energy, control the minds of the week, and even generate powerful walls of sound.

Medea: In a word, hot. In a few other words, really, REALLY hot. Also, beautiful, cunning, and a mistress of arcane energy. Also, she hates all men, the inventor-hero Daedelus in particular, but I'm telling you it's just because she hasn't met the right man. Infinity Lord, he could rock her world.

Orion the Hunter: Why the world's greatest hunter has joined the Crime League, no one knows. Normally a freelancer obsessed only with finding the most challenging hunts, he has recently taken to working with the League on high profile jobs. Orion is obsessed with killing Lady Liberty, who pissed him off by not dying when he tried to kill her.

Wildcard: A probability-altering criminal with a wicked and warped sense of humor. Or so they say; I hear the Mob really got his sense of humor, at least up until that joke where he got arrested by the Feds and did time. Not sure if he's still friendly with them or if he's on a different kind of list.

Freebooter: Just kidding. The "techno-pirate" is way too pathetic to be in this league. I'm telling you, pirates suck. Now ninjas, that's where the real power is.


Robert said...

Nice list, infinite lard. i'm surprised u didn't add the government to the list u frakin anarchist!

And, did i hear correctly? Do u actually side with the most awesome and sweet Ninja? huh, would've figured u for a pirate ANY DAY! Maybe the Ninja should start screening their toadies better. :(

Well, it'll only be a matter of weeks before u totally turn on them and start trshing them in ur blog. All because u want some attention. Pretty sad.

So Sayeth,

Infinity Lord said...

THE GOVERNMENT IS OUT TO GET US! I mean, come on, what do you think Lockdown is for ... criminals? First they lock up the crooks, then they lock up the heroes, next thing you know there will be stormtroopers knocking down your door. Well, not *your* door, since you're such an ass-kissing weasel, but certainly MY door.

That's why we need REAL heroes in the city. The supers are the only thing standing between us and outright FASCISM.