Citizens of Freedom City,
As you all know by know, a few days ago this blog announced the winner of our Sexiest Villain contest. At the time, we had no idea that Gwen Nugent had been given access to the Internet during her extended stay at the Mount Snow Mental Care Facility, nor did we realize that reading this simple blog post could trigger her transformation into the Hellqueen, resulting in the destruction of said facility and the subsequent plane-shifting of the Riverside Starbucks and the eight blocks surrounding it to Limbo.
We apologize for any discomfort or distress this may have caused the citizens of our fair city, and would like to sincerely thank Reason, the Analytical Sorcerer, for returning us and the Starbucks to this reality and defeating Hellqueen's plans to transform all of Freedom City's males into her personal demoic sex slaves, which sounded much cooler than it actually was.
Once again, we apologize.
The Staff of the Constant Sentinel
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1 comment:
GFD!!
That was you that got my favorite Starbucks transported to Hell??!?!?!?!1
You frackin dweeb!
Not only didn't i get my skinny grande mocha latte that morning (you do NOT want to see me without my morning stim!), but my favorite employee, KIMBERLY (who i was totally going to ask to come over for a Buffy/Alias marathon) was so traumatized by that psycho's demon trip that she actually quit!
QUIT THE STARBUCKS!!! Who am I going to tt now!? Huh?
I FRACKIN HATE YOU INFINITELY LAME!
SO SCREAMETH,
JUSTICESPOON!
(I'M SERIOUSLY PISSED!!!!)
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