The Grue Debacle

On July 4, 2004, the shapeshifting aliens known as the Grue Unity attacked our solar system. Even three years later its still freaking hard to believe, but it's true -- an alien armada really did show up in our solar system hellbent on conquering Earth. The Loser League immediately launched a counterattack against them, but just because their headquarters is in space doesn't mean they actually know how to fight in space.

No, it was the Atom family that finally shut them down. Details are fuzzy -- the League spin doctors don't want us knowing what really happened, and the Atom family is too proud to brag -- but apparently one of the Atoms got his hands on the Moonstone at Lunar City and used it boost his mental powers, allowing him to go mind-to-mind with the Grue Over-Mind ... and the Grue lost.

Unfortunately, my detailed blog posts from that time -- including a minute-by-minute log of the destruction of the Grue fleet as observed through my backyard telescope -- were lost when a certain l33t-freak took down the site. I've got some backups on my old Linux box in the basement, and I'll dig them out when I have a chance.

Especially since I think those notes will come in handy in a few days...

Crime League Update for 6/24/07

You've been asking for it; here it is: the complete and up-to-date roster of the Crime League!

Dr. Stratos: brilliant meteorologist and atmosphere engineer turned supervillain who can command the weather itself. He is the leader of the Crime League, though word has it a certain big ape thinks he's running the show.

Dr. Simian: The aforementioned hyper-intelligent ape driven mad by science and hell-bent on the conquering Earth.

Blackstar: fallen member of the interstellar protectors known as Star Knights who took refuge on planet Earth after his attempts at galactic domination elsewhere failed. Way to go Star Knights! Dump your garbage here, then never bother to come and clean it up (oh yeah, sure, you send ONE Star Knight to do the job ... guess he wasn't quite up to it 'cause last I checked, Blackstar is still running around.

Devil Ray: If you need something stolen from underwater, Devil Ray is your man. Hey, it could happen. He's an aquatic power-suited villain and 'master thief' whose MANTA armor gives him super human strength, the ability to maneuver and breathe underwater, allows him to generate stunning bursts of electricity and guarantees him to be the lamest villain this side of the Zero Zone.

Hiroshima Shadow: Born in the atomic blast at Hiroshima, the Hiroshima Shadow is a sentient radioactive inferno determined to get revenge against the America for winning the war. He also apparently hates Japanese people because, umm, they're not hell-bent on world domination any more.

The Maestro: Brilliant conductor, sucky composer. But don't tell him that, or he'll use his mathematical command of music to make you like his stuff. His musical instruments can blast buildings with sonic energy, control the minds of the week, and even generate powerful walls of sound.

Medea: In a word, hot. In a few other words, really, REALLY hot. Also, beautiful, cunning, and a mistress of arcane energy. Also, she hates all men, the inventor-hero Daedelus in particular, but I'm telling you it's just because she hasn't met the right man. Infinity Lord, he could rock her world.

Orion the Hunter: Why the world's greatest hunter has joined the Crime League, no one knows. Normally a freelancer obsessed only with finding the most challenging hunts, he has recently taken to working with the League on high profile jobs. Orion is obsessed with killing Lady Liberty, who pissed him off by not dying when he tried to kill her.

Wildcard: A probability-altering criminal with a wicked and warped sense of humor. Or so they say; I hear the Mob really got his sense of humor, at least up until that joke where he got arrested by the Feds and did time. Not sure if he's still friendly with them or if he's on a different kind of list.

Freebooter: Just kidding. The "techno-pirate" is way too pathetic to be in this league. I'm telling you, pirates suck. Now ninjas, that's where the real power is.

Sexiest Villain Contest Winner: Hellqueen

Last month, we started an online poll asking you to vote for the sexiest villain to ever threaten Freedom City. Well, the votes are in, and the winner is ...

Hellqueen

That's right -- Her Demonic Hotness herself, the woman who loved Captain Thunder so much she went to the Abyss and back for him, is our winner. Granted, her headcase alter ego Gwen Nugent has all the sex appeal of a mouse, but when she's infused with demonic power and wearing those fishnet stockings, well, it just goes to show that hell is very, very hot.

Please read our public apology about this post -- Ed.