YOU CAN'T STOP THE SENTINEL!

Frakking hackers. Run a site for frakking 10 years, frakking get the respect of Earth's greatest heroes and what happens? Some frakking hacker thinking he's a frakking supervillain takes down the frakking site!

Freebooter. Frakking-A. Man -- I mean, come on, a frakking cyborg pirate alternate ego? How lame is that? -- and next thing you know, your Frakking site is down.

Well, you can't stop the Signal, and you can't stop the Sentinel! We're back, and I'm porting all the old posts over to the new Blogger blog. Let's see if Freebooter can take down frakking Google!!!

Centurion: Earth's Deadest Hero

Centurion … Earth's Greatest Hero? Right, more like Earth's deadest hero!

The planet's greatest champion died fighting Omega and his legions on April 21, 1993. Omega had opened a portal from Terminus to Freedom City and sent hundreds -- no thousands -- of shock troopers through trying to establish a beachhead he could us to conquer Earth.

Centurion led the Freedom League in their counterstrike against Omega, and he landed the blow that shattered Terminus' dictator's containment suit. The energy backlash killed Centurion instantly, but allowed the rest of the Freedom League to drive the villain back through the gate.

That was 14 long years ago, Fourteen years without that famous fry of "Defeat to Tyrants!" Fourteen years Fourteen years without the sight of the sun glinting off his golden armor as he flies over the city. Fourteen years of lesser heroes dying and coming back from the dead. Fourteen years rotting in a tomb.

Pathetic.

Don't get me wrong -- Centurion was great in his day, one of the best if not the best. But real heroes don't stay dead. Real heroes do the Lazarus thing three or four times in their careers … and clones or androids or whatever other knock off has crawled out of the ooze this week doesn't count.

Real heroes don't let their fans down. And it's as simple as that.

A Public Apology to Freedom City

Citizens of Freedom City,

As you all know by know, a few days ago this blog announced the winner of our Sexiest Villain contest. At the time, we had no idea that Gwen Nugent had been given access to the Internet during her extended stay at the Mount Snow Mental Care Facility, nor did we realize that reading this simple blog post could trigger her transformation into the Hellqueen, resulting in the destruction of said facility and the subsequent plane-shifting of the Riverside Starbucks and the eight blocks surrounding it to Limbo.

We apologize for any discomfort or distress this may have caused the citizens of our fair city, and would like to sincerely thank Reason, the Analytical Sorcerer, for returning us and the Starbucks to this reality and defeating Hellqueen's plans to transform all of Freedom City's males into her personal demoic sex slaves, which sounded much cooler than it actually was.

Once again, we apologize.

The Staff of the Constant Sentinel

Rock On

It appears Freedom City has another new hero, which is just as well given that the Freedom League has seen fit to abandon us.

Yesterday we received reports of a huge brawl that broke out in the warehouse district between the rock-plated juggernaut Granite (he of Factor Four fame) and a gray-skinned giant named, well, Gray. The fight began after Granite stole $1.5 million in diamonds from a Southside warehouse and began crashing his way through a hastily erected police barricade.

No one knows where this new hero came from, but he showed up within minutes, and immediately began to put the smack down on Granite. The fight destroyed two city buildings, but it ended with Granite unconscious, the diamonds recovered, and the city with a new hero.

He may not be imaginative, but he sure as hell is strong. Welcome to Freedom City, Mr. Gray!